Lost In Translation
by Hibisha
Summary: "Saruhiko, I beg you, please!" "No!" Kusanagi sighed as he wiped the top of his bar, eyeing the two men in front of him with a tired look. For the past three days, he had witnessed tears, blood and screams all for- "YOU HAVE TO COME! MINORU WON'T LET ME SET FOOT IN THE HOUSE!" "I DON'T WANT TO!" -a stupid visit to Misaki's parent's home.


I don't know how this went for a normal crack fic about Saruhiko and Misaki going to Misaki's house but then I thought "wait, what if Saru didn't want to go?" and soon it turned from small fic about a petty argument to a large workload about misunderstandings.

It was a fucking roller coaster ride just writing this shit down!

Well, it was supposed to be a birthday fic but I'm posting it late because jkljbfldhbvkcjds I kind of didn't notice the 20th had passed me by. Lame excuse but it's the truth.

Anyways, enjoy this mess of a fic.

* * *

 **"Lost in Translation"**

"Saruhiko, I beg you, please!"

"No!"

Kusanagi sighed as he wiped the top of his bar, eyeing the two men in front of him with a tired look. For the past three days, he had witnessed tears, blood and screams all for-

"YOU HAVE TO COME! MINORU WON'T LET ME SET FOOT IN THE HOUSE!"

"I DON'T WANT TO!"

-a stupid visit to Misaki's parent's home.

It wasn't as if they hadn't visited before – of course they had because true to what Misaki was screaming, he wasn't allowed in his own house if Saruhiko wasn't tagging along which was very _weird_ when Kusanagi thought about it but then again, it didn't really matter if Misaki didn't complain _which he did_ but not seriously and besides, Kusanagi was sure that it was all a ruse to get Saruhiko to come along that had been mutually plotted by the entire Yata family - but this would be the first time Fushimi would be setting foot in that house _after_ they had started dating a month ago and now, since it was Yata's 21st birthday, Misaki's family had thrown a small party for him which was basically just him, Saruhiko and his family.

It was every new boyfriend's worst nightmare.

Especially because Misaki had planned on coming out to his parents on that day and declaring his undying love for Saruhiko - or something along those lines. Kusanagi had lost track during the third screaming battle which had ended in tears and swearing - on both sides but Fushimi managed to hide his tears very well.

He sighed.

"Look you two, can you please take this somewhere else? You're going to scare away my customers." Misaki immediately began apologizing while Fushimi clicked his tongue in a highly disagreeable way muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "What customers? You never get any around here except for maybe your _girlfriend_." Kusanagi peered over the top of his sunglasses, smiling pleasantly at the younger man.

Too pleasantly.

" _Something you want to say Fushimi_?" Blue eyes narrowed as he clicked his tongue once again, eyes avoiding the bar owner's as he let out a quick, "Nothing." Kusanagi nodded, still not satisfied with how the other man had blatantly dissed his precious bar. Revenge was in order.

"You know Fushimi," he began smoothly, still smiling _ever so pleasantly_ , "I think you should listen to Yata-chan here. After all, it's such a _big occasion_. You wouldn't miss his _birthday party_ , would you?" He didn't feel any remorse as Fushimi's eyes began to cloud over with what was unmistakably guilt and he held his breath waiting for Fushimi to cave.

Except, he didn't.

"I'm not going and that's final." Fushimi growled out, suddenly getting to his feet, "This discussion ends here and now." Striding to the front entrance, he yanked it open and marched outside, roughly pushing past Chitose and Dewa who didn't even bother voicing out their protests at such rough treatment, having long learnt Fushimi gave no fucks what so ever. While the raven haired man had agreed not to aggravate Misaki's friends no more, he hadn't actually started _liking_ them any more than he usually did.

Knowing that didn't help ease the pain though.

Rubbing his elbow, which had crashed into door frame, Chitose glared at the back of the figure rapidly walking away.

"Yata, your boyfriend's an asshole." Dewa groaned, having his ribs hurt where Fushimi had pushed him. The two walked in and sat on either side of the Vanguard, signaling Kusanagi to get them something to drink. Misaki rolled hazel his eyes and sighed, burying his face into his arms.

"You sound like you think I don't know that." he said glumly and both HOMRA members gave each a look.

"Trouble in paradise?" Dewa questioned feeling a bit stupid because _literally_ , he was talking to the man dating most high maintenance human being on the _planet_. There was always trouble in paradise. At this point, it was more like a bit of paradise in trouble.

Yeah, HOMRA wasn't exactly bursting with love for Fushimi either.

Misaki glared at nothing in particular, mouth curving downwards to form a scowl. Kusanagi placed three beers in front of them and signaled he was going out to take care of some business, and quickly exited through the back. The skater grabbed one of the bottles and downed it in one go before he slammed it back down.

"Stupid Saru won't attend my stupid birthday party." he growled out, looking like depression personified and Chitose and Dewa's faces became mirror images of confusion.

"Why?"

"He's been there before!"

Misaki let his head fall down on the smooth top of the bar.

"I know." came a muffled reply, his voice breaking a bit "Which is w-why I don't understand his t-total denial about going. He was always so comfortable there I didn't think there was anything w-wrong-"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your household rather there is something wrong with your boyfriend." Misaki nearly screamed as he jumped, absolutely terrified as Eric quietly materialized out of nowhere and sat down next to Chitose. Chitose and Dewa were startled to the point of spilling their drinks on the _freshly polished_ top of Kusanagi's bar and both made a dive for the tissue dispenser.

Living was way more fun than dying over a bar.

"Holy fuck Eric!" Chitose panicked, scrubbing the small pool of beer off the counter, "Don't surprise us like that, it's unnerving." The blonde shrugged and turned back to the youngest in the group.

"Is there any reason that I just passed your boyfriend looking the absolute picture of hell's wrath upon earth?"

Misaki gave Eric a sidelong look.

It was no secret that these two didn't always get along which was weird because out of all his friends, Fushimi seemed to like _Eric_ the most. At least, liked him enough to have a decent conversation.

In English.

Misaki always had a nagging suspicion that they were both just making fun of him but he couldn't actually _prove_ anything. He had thought it was better not to ask Kusanagi about it because really, the chances of them actually making fun of him were really high and it would only lead to another fight.

As if they didn't have enough of those.

"He and I had a slight disagreement." Eric shrugged, sliding off of the stool to go look at the pictures hanging on the wall.

"Nothing new there. What was it about this time?"

Misaki didn't respond but buried his head in his arms indicating he did not want to talk about it. The three other occupants in the place shot each other a look above the slouched drunk figure and nodded. Time for plan B. To raise Misaki's spirits and mood, one must-

"So Yata, do you remember the time Mikoto-san err - uuuh - destroyed the MRT gang?"

-spend the rest of the day gushing and being gushed to about the previous Red King.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Misaki endlessly droning on and on about Suoh Mikoto and how awesome he was. Chitose and Dewa exchanged a wry grin behind his back. The things you do for friendship. After four hours of endless praise - seriously how did Saruhiko _deal_ with this? Oh wait, he didn't - Eric finally had enough.

"So you guys wanna go to that new arcade place?"

Misaki opened his mouth to respond but before he could get even two words out the door to the bar slammed open and a thoroughly worn out Domyoji ran in, looking as if he had for miles.

"OH MY GOD YATA, WHAT DID YOU DO?" Misaki and the others waited for him to elaborate but Domyoji seemed to be more focused on being hunched up, trying to get his breath back. Straightening his body posture after a minute or so, he gave Misaki the most reproachful look he could muster.

"Why?" he asked dramatically, flailing his arms around dramatically, "What has the special Ops squad ever done to you?" If Misaki had been puzzled before now he was just fucking lost. Chitose jumped up and led the hysterical Scepter 4 member to a couch before offering him a beer - Kusanagi wouldn't mind. Not that much anyways, he still hadn't returned to the bar.

"Get a grip and begin from the start." Dewa said, raising an eyebrow. Domyoji gratefully accepted the beer before giving Misaki the evil eye. Eric shot him a look as if to say, _What did you do now?_

Misaki was offended.

He hadn't done anything to Scepter 4.

Right now that is.

"Why on earth would you turn down Fushimi-san's thoughtfulness and bring damnation and hell raining upon us poor beings who had sincerely wished nothing but happiness for you and your future together with our boss? Why?" Domyoji asked, "Now he's pissed off and he's taking it out on us! I just barely escaped because he wasn't looking and I sort of chucked my PDA at Hidaka before sprinting out of the main gates. Poor Akiyama-san, Benzai-san and Hidaka are still running laps, he has Kamo and Enomoto - Enomoto I tell you - doing push ups! And poor Fuse and Goto are scrubbing the entire dorm building with toothbrushes!" Eric tilted his head.

"How is that supposed training?" he questioned. Domyoji waved his hand impatiently.

"I don't know - some stupid thing about making their arms stronger or something - that's totally not the point! The point is, Captain and Lieutenant are off doing business in USA and won't be back until tomorrow so there is literally no one to stop that tyrant from working us till we're nothing but a pile of dust on the floor." Misaki held up his hands in exasperation.

"What present? That guy had been actively trying to avoid going to my birthday party - a present is the last thing he wants to give me!" Dewa and Chitose nodded behind him while Eric just sighed. Domyoji groaned and hid his face into his hands.

"I hate you." a muffled voice came out. "Maybe Fushimi-san's right. Maybe you all really don't have enough brain cells to function."

"Oi!" Dewa snapped, "Don't just come into HOMRA and abuse us! And are you forgetting he lumps _you_ in along with us 'brainless crowd'?"

"Why else would you not notice Fushimi-san's being so considerate here?" the blue growled back. Chitose snorted.

"I think Fushimi broke his subordinates." Dewa concluded, "Maybe he was so mean to them, that this actually seems like a nice gift to this one here. I knew he was an asshole but to think he'd destroy someone's sanity like this..." Domyoji frowned.

"Don't talk bad about our Fushimi-san!"

"Don't talk shit about that monkey!"

Both redheads looked at each other and Misaki sighed.

"Look, how about you tell us exactly what happened so we can get to the bottom of this." Eric suggested, looking way too relaxed. In fact, he hadn't even batted an eye on Domyoji's sudden arrival or anything that had happened since. Either he was challenging Saruhiko to the "Who can give the least fucks" competition or he knew something they all didn't.

Domyoji sat back down, his earlier outburst having made him leap to his feet. Taking a deep breath, he focused his gaze onto Misaki. For the first time since they had known him, the HOMRA members saw why the redhead belonged in Scepter 4 as the most piercing and calculated look settled in those green eyes.

"What are you and Fushimi-san fighting about this time?" he asked calmly, as if talking to a child which was weird because _he_ was considered the child at Scepter 4 – after Saruhiko of course who was, and Domyoji swore he hadn't been lying when he said it, Scepter 4's _baby_ – precious and lethal. Misaki shrugged.

"He refuses to visit my parent's house with me." he replied, his mind buzzing a bit because of the third bottle of beer he had consumed. The blue clansman smiled.

"Exactly. He's so nice." he said, nodding his head vigorously, folding his arms and looking as if that made the most _perfect_ sense in the world which it did _not_ and that made the red clansmen _very_ worried.

Maybe Domyoji got hit in the head on his way to the bar. Hard.

Shouldn't they be calling an ambulance?

"And how is that even remotely nice?" Dewa asked cautiously. Maybe the young man was on drugs - in which case he could lash out and attack them at any given moment. Domyoji sighed so dramatically that Dewa had a sudden feeling maybe they were being filmed by a camera and were being punked like in those TV shows - that would explain whatever bullshit this guy was pulling.

"Fushimi-san thought that because you hated it when your mom kept comparing you to him and you kept falling short, he'd spare you that annoyance on your birthday since you had been complaining how much your family seemed to be in love with him."

 _Thud._

Misaki felt as if someone had dumped cold water on him.

His boyfriend was an _absolute idiot_.

His sweet, thoughtful-in-his-own-way, verbally constipated, socially messed up boyfriend was such an absolute idiot!

Of course that's how Saruhiko would see it.

While Misaki had been generally venting out his feelings, of course Saruhiko would take it as if he had been accusing him of stealing his family.

Really, why hadn't he guessed seeing as this was Fushimi Saruhiko he was talking about.

Quick as lightening, he was on his feet and out the door, grabbing his skateboard and not even bothering to converse with the others - he'd apologize for dragging them into this mess later.

Saruhiko, that fucking _loser_.

Oh God, Misaki was so frustrated and giddy that he could just kiss him. And he planned to – as soon as he saw that stupid monkey he was pinning him to the wall, kissing him senseless and not letting go until the younger understood that Misaki was so fucking in love with him that it hurt him physically.

Misaki felt what felt like the first grin in weeks cross his face.

First, he had to pick up some things. Then he was going to free those poor blue souls from under his sulking boyfriend's dictatorship. He really didn't understand why the ex-Blue King had put Saruhiko of all people as the superior officer. And he had learnt from Domyoji this had occurred when he was 18 - a sulky, sullen teenager in charge of all those grown men. Now he was a sulky sullen adult with no qualms about overworking his subordinates and venting his personal frustrations out on them.

Petty? Yes he was.

But then again, Misaki reasoned as he slowed down to stop in front of a florist, Saruhiko was really _really_ talented. And smart. And he overworked himself to the point of breaking. And so the Blue King saw all those qualities.

He wasn't jealous of Saru's boss or anything.

 _Not really_.

Shit, they _really_ did _not_ need another reason to fight just when they had somewhat resolved this one.

By resolve he meant he had figured out the problem and was now trying to solve it. Easier said than done when one is dealing with Fushimi Saruhiko.

But luckily, he had a plan.

Smirking as he paid for his purchase, he let out a tiny laugh and began to make his way back home.

Yata Misaki had a plan and goddamit it was a good one.

* * *

Yata Misaki had a plan and it was the worst plan he had had since the time he tried to microwave his t-shirt dry.

Saruhiko stood at the opposite end of the room, nursing his bleeding lip, uttering as many profanities as he could. His nose was running and his entire face was flushed red, eyes watering as he stood there sniffling slightly.

A pile of dead beat flower stems lay scattered about and there were flower petals everywhere.

Also, there was a huge fucking _hole_ in their bathroom door.

This was an absolute disaster.

Misaki could feels tears of frustration threatening to fall from his eyes and Saruhiko looked as if he were about to just walk out of his life once more.

It had been a relatively simple albeit a bit expensive plan.

Step 1: Grab a bouquet of 21 red and 21 blue flowers and a bag full of petals.

Step 2: Text Saru, go home and wait for Saru to come home.

Step 3: While waiting, place flowers where they can be seen and spread the petals around the house and mostly on the bed because really, if Saruhiko thought he wasn't getting thoroughly fucked tonight, he was sorely mistaken.

Well right now, he was just sore. And not in a good way.

Misaki should have known that there was no way this was going to end well. Like everything else in his shitty life, this had majorly blown up in his face.

How the fuck did he forget Saruhiko was fucking _allergic_ to roses he would never understand.

The minute Saruhiko had walked inside, he had begun sneezing his brains out. Misaki, in his panic induced state had pushed the taller male into the bedroom so that he could get away from all the roses in the living room just for his boyfriend to make a surprised face as he stumbled back onto the bed - which was literally just covered in rose petals.

Misaki's plan had not included "Nearly get my boyfriend killed by his allergies."

Obviously he couldn't go back in time and stop his own birth from happening so he did the next best possible thing he could - he grabbed Fushmi by the arm and roughly shoved him in his petal covered state into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it tightly as he tried to clean up so that Saruhiko wouldn't waltz in accidentally and have another sneezing attack.

He had quite literally _locked his boyfriend in the bathroom_.

"Misaki?" the muffled voice sounded so confused that Misaki's heart broke, and he could hear Saruhiko sniffling inside so he hurried up his pace.

Except, you don't just lock _Saruhiko Fushimi_ in the bathroom.

A swift kick blasted a hole right through the door and a few seconds later, Saruhiko stood before him, looking absolutely murderous.

Of course, Misaki's brain computed there was only one solution out of this mess. Reaching out blindly to grab the first thing he could use as a playful substance to weakly chuck at his boyfriend so that Saru would know he had been joking and not seriously meant anything bad by locking him in the bathroom, he felt his fingers brush against something soft so he closed his fist against it as threw it.

He _t_ _hrew the fucking flower bouquet at Fushimi's face_.

If that hadn't been enough, a couple of fucking bees, attracted by all the flowers most probably, had drifted inside the apartment through the window and Misaki and Fushimi were soon desperately trying to whack them to death with the bouquet and a rolled up newspaper, all the while trying not to get stung.

It was horrible.

Fushimi was a sneezing mess.

Misaki was a screaming one.

He would consider himself lucky if Saruhiko even _looked_ at him after tonight.

He couldn't help it, a tear escaped his eyes and trailed down his cheek soon followed by many others. In a flash, Saruhiko was at his side.

"Misaki..." He mumbled, slowly guiding the mess his boyfriend had become to the couch. Gently lowering him into it, he sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around the older man, trying to calm him down by rubbing his back in slow circular motions and gently running his fingers through his hair.

It was relaxing.

Misaki _hated_ it.

Burying his face deeper into the other's chest, he circled his own arms around Saruhiko and began crying in earnest as all the tension from the week before finally caught up to him and he broke down. Saruhiko didn't say anything but continued his ministrations until finally Misaki quitened down, eyes turning off their faucets. Gently taking his lover's face into his hands, Saru began to gently stroke his cheekbones with his thumbs, looking positively worried.

"Ne Misaki, what happened?" He asked quietly, as if speaking loudly would set off another round of waterworks, "Is it something I did?" A look of pain flashed in his eyes as he spoke again, trying to keep his words from breaking, "Do-do you want me to leave?" Misaki's blood ran cold. No. That wasn't it. One look at his boyfriend's tense and broken hearted face gave him the courage and push he needed to do the one thing he should have done in the first place – he spilt out his heart out to Saruhiko.

Everything, about how he loved Saru and how Saru didn't seem to _understand just how much he did_ and how he loved being compared to him even if he didn't ever come out on the good side because that only meant _they were still together_ and how much that little fact meant to him. He told him about how he wanted to surprise him with the flowers and how he had made an absolute fucking mess of everything and how he totally wouldn't blame him if Saruhiko decided he wanted to move out.

On his part, Saruhiko stayed quiet throughout his entire rant and when it was over, he sat there with an unreadable expression on his face. Then his shoulders began to tremble and pretty soon after, his laughter filled the room.

"Misaki's an idiot." He chuckled pulling the other in arms once again, burying his face into his shoulder, "Misaki. Is. A. Total. Moron." Each word was enunciated with small kisses pressing against his neck. Misaki glared at him weakly.

"Don't laugh at me you asshole, I just poured my heart out to you." He responded thickly, turning his head a bit so that the other could have better access. Saruhiko hummed but didn't respond, quite happy to carry on with his activities. It wasn't until Misaki was sure that he could look at his face without having another embarrassing breakdown that he pulled back a bit and stared into the prettiest cerulean eyes he had ever seen.

God dammit, Saruhiko was breathtaking.

"Don't ever think I don't love you okay? I do. And I'm not sad you come over to my place. It- it makes me really happy that you and I can do that again." He whispered and Saruhiko rolled his eyes at him, although the effect was ruined as he hugged him close to his chest once more.

"I love Misaki too." He whispered before an unnoticed smirk crossed his lip, "Ne Misaki?"

"Yeah?" The older man hummed out, feeling content.

"Did you really plan on fucking me into oblivion on a bed of roses?"

Oh fuck this shit, he hated his life.

* * *

*hides* PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, I STILL HAVE SO MUCH I WANT TO DO!

*peeks from behind rock* I don't know why this turned out a bit OOC so please don't hurt me okay?

Drop a review and let me know it you like it! :D


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